"Of the Moment Archive". Past "Of the moment" entries.

Archives of the Moments
Here are some of my favorite "Of the Moment" entries. Also are some of other people's favorites that they have suggested be archived. The date of each moment is listed before each entry.

Agust 1st 4:02 AM 2002
Song of the Moment - "Call and Answer" by Barenaked Ladies
I'm surprised that although it's been mentioned in several OTMs it's never actually been a Song of The Moment. Well, in any case it's long past due. Simply put, call and answer is my ballad. I've always dreamt of slow dancing to this song. If not my absolute favorite BNL song it's definately high on my list of favorites. It sums up almost perfectly how I feel about getting into a relationship and what true love for someone is. If I ever learn guitar (I hope to some day) I want to learn how to play the guitar to this song. Plus Steven Page has an absolutely beautiful voice.

Thoughts of the moment. - Couldn't sleep; partially due to the heat, partially due to some caffeine earlier; partially due to me just thinking about alot of things (I know I do it alot don't I? =) ) so I decided it was time to do some OTM writing. So here goes.

Otakon was a blast. (As I expected it to be) met some interesting people. One of the things that I've always enjoyed about the convention is the camraderie everyone shares, everyone is there to share their love for something as simple as anime. Otakon is great on more than just the level of the existance of dealer's room with a great selection of anime items for good prices (although that's nice to have= ) ). Otakon is great for people just starting to learn about anime to gain exposure to what's out there, as well as more experinced fans to find out about other titles that they might not have known. Probably my only regrets were not being able to being able to split myself into several copies so I could see more, and not being able to have more friends with me.

It's always nice to have someone to talk to and offer an ear when you need. Lately I've found myself needing one often. Luckily I've been able to find it through several people. Just to shoot the breeze about what's been on my mind. Not that I'm ungrateful, heck I'm relieved to have this help, I just wish right now I could make things happen. I'm told there's potential in the what I see, now it's all a matter of me being able to act the potential that could or could not be there.

But for now I think I'll head off....

July 23rd 10:40 PM 2002
Song of the Moment - "Hanging By A Moment" by Lifehouse
It's been stuck in my head since Justin's party, and I was glad to know that it was stuck in someone else's head too. I seem to be finding more and more common ground with her everyday. Read on for more on this.

Thoughts of the moment. - I've fallen once again into what I refer to as "Doug's Hopless Romantic/Sentimental Mode" or just simply "the mode". I dunno what it is, I've just been thinking alot about where I am now, where things could go for me and where they will go. I've just had trouble getting my thoughts off of someone. Someone who I've suddenly noticed a potential for chemsitry in. Part of me wants to try and pursue it; part of me wants to not risk it. I guess I've got a bit of Hedgehog's Dillemma* in me. I guess the best action at this point is to try, not neccessarily full force, but just a little. Heh I've fallen flat on my face from worse endeavors. =)

Going to Otakon tommorow, I'm psyched. It's going to be a blast even more than last year. Now that I know the con and will have a fellow otaku with me, I'm going to have even more fun. I'm sure I'll have stuff to write about regarding it when I get back.

*For those of you who don't know the reference, "Hedgehog's Dillemma" refers to a fable/story/legend/etc about how the hedgehogs have their spikes all over their bodies, so the closer they get to one another, the more they run the risk of hurting eachother. "Hedgehog's Dillemma" is the fear of getting close resulting from a fear of getting hurt.

July 21st 6:28 PM 2002
Song of the Moment - "Ness Drinks Coffee" from Earthbound
This song fits for a song of the moment just because of how it's used in the game, when the main characters drink a cup of coffee (or tea later on in the game) and there is just a moment for reflection. This music just seems to fit very well with someone just sitting, staring at a cup of coffee they're drinking, and reflecting.

Thoughts of the moment. - Went to a party last night at Justin's. It was nice to see friends again. It felt kinda weird though, saying goodbye to some people, and not being sure when the next time I would see them would be. I very much enjoyed myself though. I'm writing about the party mainly because it's started making me think about things again. Just the type of feelings that make me wonder about stuff. Like what the future holds for me; and how my past effects it. I guess it just reminds me of what I think a good ending of a movie/play/video game etc. should do. It should tell the audience, "this is the end of these event, but just the beginning of something else..."

July 12th 9:38 PM 2002
Song of the Moment - "I Don't Need Promises" from The Vision of Escaflowne
Since I'm getting excited for Otakon I thought I'd put an anime opening theme. This one just happened to be the first one winamp played when I put a bunch of anime openings in the playlist and pressed shuffle. Good opening line in the song, plus I enjoy the bridge. This song makes an interesting statemennt about love. And since I'm such a nice guy I'll even put a link up to a page with the translated lyrics here.

Thoughts of the moment. - A cool thing happened to me this past Tuesday night. I was riding in a car with Devon and we were just talking about several things and as it turned out the conversation went in one direction and I started talking about someone. Just as I began talking on the radio "In the End" by Linkin Park started playing which, in all irony, always makes me think of that one person. It was just a really neat thing to have happen, and I thought it was something worth sharing.

July 2nd 12:23 AM
Song of the Moment - "Goodnight Julia" fromCowboy Bebop
Somehow, it just fits right now
Thoughts of the moment.-
"I want to just fall asleep with someone in my arms. I want them to be able to fall asleep knowing that I am there for them, and they mean the world to me. I want to run my fingers through her hair and whisper in her ear as she drifts comfortably to rest, a reminder of how beautiful love can be."
-Story/Play/whatever I'm kinda working on every now and then

June 25th 2002 3:11 AM
Song of the Moment - "The Silent Man" by Dream Theater
Frequency Meltdown played this song at their recent performance this past weekend. Mike and Brian have often talked about the band, but I'd never heard anything by them until then. When I got home after the show I quickly downloaded the song, and it's been stuck in my head. There's some great lines here and it's a nice easing tune. I decided I'd copy down the lyrics here too. Thanks guys for introducing me to this song.

   A question well served,
    'Is silence like a fever?'
    'A voice never heard?'
    'Or a message with no receiver?'

    Pray they won't ask
    Behind the stained glass
    There's always one more mask

    Has man been a victim
    of his woman, of his father?
    if he elects not to bother,
    will he suffocate their faith?

    Desperate to fall
    Behind the Great Wall
    That separates us all

    When there is reason
    Tonight I'm Awake
    when there's no answer
    Arrive the Silent Man

    If there is balance
    tonight He's Awake
    If they have to suffer
    There lies the Silent Man

    Sin without deceivers
    A God with no believers
    I could sail by
    on the Winds of Silence
    And maybe they won't notice
    But this time I think
    It'd be better if I swim

    When there is reason
    Tonight I'm Awake
    When there's no answer
    Arrive the Silent Man
    If there is balance
    Tonight he's Awake
    But if they have to suffer
    There lies the Silent Man

Thoughts of the moment.-
Ok Life's really sorted itself out nicely the over the past few days. I'm feeling alot better about things. Orientation MCLA went really well, met some great people, and I'm really starting to look forward to college believe it or not. I feel alot more comfortable about possibly having a roommate which at first kinda surprised me. I've enetered a really nice calm period right now. All in all things are going quite well. I've been getting alot of chances to hang out with my friends lately which means alot to me, partially becuase being able to do so is a rarity for me. I'm still surprised I'm actually going to be in a play, which is another thing that has me excited and surprised. Lastly, go see Minority Report, I saw it with firends and it's a good movie.

June 17th 2002 1:05 AM
Song of the Moment -
"To Zanarkand" By Nobuo Uematsu, From Final Fantasy X
Picked this song becuase it kind of fits my mood (see thoughts of the moment), just the searching for an answer with a hint of sadness behind it. Nice gentle piano tune.

Thoughts of the moment.-

First off WOOO GRADUATION!!!!! I'm done with High School!!!! Wrote "Dougie Fresh" in Katakana (Japanese Alphabet for borrowed words) on my cap.

Other than that right now I'm really kinda blurred emotion wise right now. Just feel weird like there's a need for me to be angry, sad about something, or if it's some sort of feeling of regret for something that happened over this school year that I left undone. I don't know what's on my mind right now, I think I'm just a little burnt out from the end of the yeat but I don't know what the exact reasons for my weird mixed emotion or why I should have that feeling right now. My best guess is guess right now I just feel like I've got some deep feelings I want to really share with someone but I'm having difficulty finding out who that person is.

June 4th 2002 8:58 PM
Song of the Moment -
"Full Circle" by Aerosmith
Been listening to this song lately because I think it says alot about where we(class of 2002 baby!) are right now. We've got so much ahead of us, and done so much. I could probably write alot more about how this song is perfect for the this moment with upcoming graduation, but unfortunately, I have a Theatre final to continnue work on, so I'll levae with one line from the song.
"I think love, is love reflected"

Thoughts of the moment.-
First off, apologies to any of my fans that have been missing the updates, but my comp needed to be fixed, so now it's alllllllll better. So tonight's thoughts of the moment will be a summary of the things that have happend while my comp was down.

Prom- Kick ass time had alot of fun with all my friends. I always have fun hanging out with my friends, but the Prom was even more so. I think one of the neatest things about it was the friendship everyone in our class had on that night. Everyone was there to just have fun as a group and got along. Plus I got hypnotized at the post prom and (once I was aware of what I did) it was hilarious.

Getting to the end of Final Fantasy X- Awesome ending, very well done, ends the story very nicely. It's an Incredibly bittersweet ending. I won't spoil it for anyone, partially because it's hard to put into words how beautiful it is. I'll definately want to play this game again. The last thing I'll say about it is this, it looks like I have another scene to add to my list of video game scenes that get me misty-eyed (awwww...)

Tournaments of Creythorne 9 - First real realms event. Had a blast there, got to try moose meat (it's a long story). Lot of fun and neat stuff happened

Senior Breakfast- The food was "eh" but it was another great oppurntunity to just hang out with the gang and talk about all the fun stuff. We got our yearbooks and it was great to see so many memories among the pages. That late morning/afternoon went crusing with Mike and Matt. Good times there, especially when all three of us yelled as we passed a pasture.

"Hey cow! COW! Get Naked!"

May 4th 2002
Song of the Moment -
"Prince Charming" by Jim's Big Ego
Great message in this song, about how one cannot live a life by depending on others for everthing. We need to find our own way of living, life is where you chose to go with it. There's a great guitar part in this, as well as a string part that adds some great depth to it. One of my favorite lines from a part of the song other than the chorus comes early on. "Flip the Wicked Witch the Finger"

Thoughts of the moment.-
42

April 27th 2002 6:23 PM
Song of the Moment -
"Blister in The Sun" by Violent Femmes
No particular reason why this song was chosen except it happened to be the song playing on winamp when I started writing this OTM. It's a really simple tune with the repeating guitar and drum rhythm, but it makes for a good song, The switch from quiet back to the normal singing is nicely done, it isn't over or under shot at all.

Thoughts of the moment.-

I'm not sure how this came up into my mind, but it did, so just bear with me and maybe you'll be able to follow. I've come to the conclusion that I have a number, color, and element that reflect my personality, my being, and stuff like that. Maybe it's just specualtion, but here's the results that I've come to; my personality/etc number is 2, my personality/etc element is water, and my personality/etc color is red.

Here are some of the backings for each, maybe some are stretching it, but whatever

My personality/etc Number (2)

-I was born in Feb., the 2nd month of the Year
-I am the second child of my parents
-The parent I'd always benn closer to is my mother, she was born on March 2nd
-The name that is common on my mother's side of the family, and is my middle name is Charles (two syllables), My mother also chose my first name, Douglas, which is also two syllables. My surname, Wilder, is also two syllables.
-Most of my favorite mecha in mecha animes have been unit 2s, e.g. , Unit 2 in Evangelion, The Zaku II from many of the Gundam Titles, Gundam Unit 02 from Gundam 0083, etc
-The Year I grauate from High School is 2002
-My Favorite Character from Neon Genesis Evangelion is Asuka, aka the Second Child
-I play 2 types of clarinet

My personality/etc Color (Red)
-The Color Most associated with Feb, the month I was born in, is Red, (Valentines Day, Presidents Day)
-Some of my favorite Mecha from mecha animes have been colored red, e.g. , Unit 02 from Evangelion, Char's Zaku II from Gundam etc
-My favorite character from Neon Genesis Evangelion, Asuka, wears a red plugsuit, and also has red clips in her red hair
-Both High Schools I've attended have had their color be Maroon, a red based color
-The Gemstone I chose for my class ring was garnet, once again a red based color
-The overshirt I wear the most is my red one
-The page on this site I tend to add the most to is my quotes page, which has a red background
-I prefer Coca-Cola, which has a primarily red color scheme on its labels, over Pepsi which is mainly blue

My personality/etc Element (Water)
-My name, Douglas, means "Dark water"
-My astrological sign is Aquarius, the water bearer
-The sports I played most as a child were water based, swimming and Ice Hockey
-My Favorite Angel in Neon Genesis Evangelion,(and the name of my Realms Character) is Sachiel, the Angel of Water
-The only location at Hidden Valley Boy Scout Reservation that I got all the merit badges from was the waterfront.
-My Favorite type of weather is rain

That's all for now there are probably others but that enough blab for one OTM

April 19th 2002 11:15 PM
Song of the Moment
****See thoughts of the moment******

Thoughts of the moment.-

Well in unexpectedly keeping with the current theme of having a list of songs and descriptions for them; Today's OTM I'm just gonna list off alot of songs of the moment since I seem to have a lot of good canidates for right now. I'm not gonna make all these avail for download since this is a limited space host, but like in past lists, if you want MP3s of any of the songs, let me know and I'll send em your way.

"Back" by Barenaked Ladies - Let's start off the list with a bit of a metaphoric choice. I'm kinda listening to this song lately because it sorta is what happened to me over a span of time this year, "I thought I was wide awake but my legs were still asleep". Surprisingly though, I've recovered better and faster than I expected.

"Right Now" by Van Halen - This ones been playing alot this week both in my head and on my discman. I've just been thinking about time alot lately; simply put where I've been, where I am right now, and where I'll be going. It's been a really good thing for me doing all the time related thinking has given me a damn good feeling. I look at how I've had to go through some rough stuff, and how I've learned from my mistakes instead of repeating them. I've looked at where I am now, I've got good people near me and some good stuff going for me. Future looks good too, I've got awesome things coming up like prom, graduation, college, and more. All three time frames of my life, have been, are, or will be preety fucking sweet. As for the song I love the melding of the piano feel with the guitar, also it reminds me of the AMV I have to it. I still laugh out loud when I watch it.

"Cruel Angel's Thesis" The opening theme to Neon Genesis Evangelion - EVA's once again reminded me of why I love the series since I've bought the DVD boxed set. I love the series, and the music for it is great. What other Sci-Fi, bible-alluding, mecha anime has a Frank Sinatra tune as its closing theme? This is a great song good beat and instrumentation. Also has some great poetic lyrics, which as many of you loyal readers of this section know, scores good points with me. Check em out at www.animelyrics.com to find them

"Dare" by Stan Bush, From The Transformers- Good song for just lifiting you up if you feel kinda down. Reminds you that if you wanna live a good life, you gotta take risks and not be afraid to well, dare a little bit. This is my pick yourself up and dust yourself off song. A good lesson here is that one cannot dwell in things that have already transpired, instead we need to press on. Like the first verse says, "you can fly if you try leaving the past behind".

"Goodnight Julia" From Cowboy Bebop - Just a great sax and piano blues song and the blues is an awesome form of music. 'nuff said.

April 14th 2002 2:55 AM
Song of the Moment - "Chick Magnet" By MXPX
Just been listening to this song alot, it's a fun song, love the heavy guitar part. Also the skat singing is pretty cool too.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Decided I'd make another list of scenes with a soundtrack I think would be cool to make.Maybe these could all fit into the same movie, I don't know

"Boom Boom Dollar (K.O.G G3 mix)" From Dance Dance Revolution.
OK I know I listed this one before, but thought I'd go into more detail regarding my "vision" for it. Like I said, I think a gun fight scene if timed well would be really cool to this. It'd be something where the first shot would be of some sort of timer, maybe the main character(s) is in some sort of training exercise, or that there is a race to get somewhere to save somebody, like they have to race and get all the baddies in time to defuse a bomb.

"Blind Man" by Aerosmith
I'd like to see this be part of an ending sequence. Have our hero save the day, but not win the girl. I. For the scene we see our hero laying on a park bench, staring up at the sky. Either a drunk or a little girl approaches him and tells him "Don't be sad mister/Son. My Daddy/Everyone says there's a great big world out there." The hero looks at the person who approached him. "Thanks" Then he smiles. Stands up and walks off into the horizon and sunrise/sunset as the music starts and the credits begin to roll.

"God Gave Rock 'N' Roll to You II" by Kiss
For an opening credits scene, we see someone's car radio being flicked on, or someone's radio alaram clock this song starts playing. As we switch between scenes of our main character various street musicians playing to small crowds with their hats/instrument cases opened in hopes of apprciative passers by tossing in some money.

"It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy
I'd just stick this song even if it was for a split second into a scene somewhere as a shout-out to my friends.

"Particles" by Master Zap
Think it'd be cool to have the "bad guys" do some computer hacking and damaging of some sort of important files/mainframe to this song. Start of the song we slowly zoom out from one keyboard to reveal a group of people doing the hacking. Then we see the hack "traveling" through wires, and what damage is being done.

I'll probably add some more later as I think of 'em. Let me know you're opinion of these scenes, I'm curious to know what other people think. Also if you want MP3s of any of the songs, let me know I'll send em your way.

April 14th, 2:02AM
Closed the Vanity Plate list for now. Here's the last listing;

"DFRESH" - Doug
"NITCRLR" - Jess
"HAILME" - Dan W
"SPAZ" - Dan L
"DB1ROX" - Ed
"IG2XRMS" - Dave
"HRLEQN" - Heather

April 4th 2002 7:42 PM
Song of the Moment - "Kokoro" From Xenosaga
Here's to a song that sums up one of the several big thoughts in my mind right now, almost perfectly.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Been doing a lot of thinking since Friday night about stuff. Yes that's right, Stuff. Last week was an awesome week and one of things I seem to do whether I mean to or not is go deep into thought about stuff after a really good thing is over. As far as what happening in my world, I won't pretend I know the whole situation in both of the big situations right now, and franlky it's probably none of my business, but from both the big break up and Ken's death, I know that no matter what I have to let what will be, be.

I've learned time and again when there is a major event in our lives that creates such an emoitonal reaction, we cannot turn away from it, or deny its existance; we must pick ourselves up, brush off the dust, and carry on.

"Things that effect our world happen every day, how we choose to learn from them is up to us"

Lastly I can say this, what happened, happened, I still plan to go do the things I've set out to do and and I still plan to strive towards the goals I've given myself.

Maybe for my next OTM I'll share with all you loyal viewers at home a list of goals I've set for myself.

April 4th 2002 1:09 AM
Song of the Moment - "Aeris' Theme" From Final Fantasy VII
This just relates to thoughts of the moment, so just keep reading.

Thoughts of the moment.-
You know one of the things I think I'm able to do really well is envision pieces of music that fit really well to a scene in a movie, anime, moment in life, etc. I always enjoy it when a scene has an awesome soundtrack to it, it's probably why I enjoy fan made anime music videoes that are well done. It's also why my third "Soundtrack" will be songs that remind me of my friends. One of my "mental calisthenics" is I think about scenes I could make and what I'd use for a soundtrack. There are so many good scenes out there that are enhanced so well by music. I think about the pivotal point in Final Fantasy VII where Aeris' Theme IS the scene essentially. There was the "See You Space Cowboy" scene that I talked about in a past OTM. Whenever I hear a song from a certain scene my mind tends to go from the music, to the scene. I like being able to do that, it's one of my quirks that make me who I am. Music is a cornerstone in my life, I realize it more and more everday. In fact I was thinking as I fell asleep last night, The Barnaked Ladies Album "Stunt" is so important to me cuz I listened to it so much my freshman year of high school. Now, for further exposition into my person. Hear's (heh heh pun) a list of some of my Favorite scenes with really good soundtracks.

"Aeris' Theme" in Final Fantasy VII when Aeris is killed. I still get misty-eyed at this part.

"Marle's Theme" in Chrono Trigger when Marle is reunited with Crono after he literally died and she and the others had to find a way to bring him back. Again; I get misty-eyed at this scene too.

"See You Space Cowboy" in Cowboy Bebop's final episode. This part just takes everything and leaves you drooling at the powerfullness it has. They finally give you an exposition point that just will boggle one's mind, it's a scene full of emotion. I can't find a better word to describe it other than "whoa"

"Call Me" another one from Cowboy Bebop, from the tail end of the series, almost as good as "See You Space Cowboy", a very close second of power and depth.

"Spirit Vs Spirit" from the Japanese Version of Dragonball Z. THE scene of innocence lost. A powerful scene where all of a sudden Gohan goes from the cowering, weak, child he was, to suddenly a powerful warrior exploding in power.

"Normal Blood" From Neon Genesis Evangelion. They play this song several times in Eva. It fits so well to them to. They are scenes of "Holy Shit, what kind of monster is thing?!" a pure, awesome, terror just surges in these scenes.
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"Toki Ni Ai Wa" From The Revolutionary Girl Utena Movie. Here's a beauftiful scene, Dancing in starlight in a rose garden overflowing with water that's cascading roses below. I would love to be able to live that situation in real life sometime.

"Frog's Theme" from Chrono Trigger. A great Scene where Frog finally accepts that he cannot change the past, but the future is still truly up to him, he realizes he must no longer hide, instead he must do what he knows to be the right decision

"Main Theme" from Final Fantasy IV. Here's an awesome final battle sequence, Your main character, Cecil, and his comrades are all at the mercy of Zeromus, the source of all the bad things that have happened, everyone is Dead, except Cecil, who has 1 HP left. "They're screwed" one thinks but all of of a sudden apparitions of everyone who supports the side of good who they've met along the way appear telling Cecil's friend's "For the love the entire Earth Stand up"

"Advice (Arranged Version)" from FLCL (Furi Kuri) This just works so well for a freaky scene having a robot sprout from Noata's forehead.

"Boom Boom Dollar (K.O.G G3 mix)" From Dance Dance Revolution. This isn't an actual scene, but this one I'd like to see done. I think a gun fight scene if timed well would be really cool to this.

That's all for now; I'll add more later. If you want to hear any of these songs let me know I have MP3s of them all

April 1st 2002 5:35 PM
Thoughts of the moment.-
Call me Doug. Call me Dougie Fresh. Call me Kiddo. Call me Yuggie Free-hosh. Call me Stomp. Call me Douglas Charles Wilder. Call me Sachiel. Call me Bartender. Call me Momentarydrkking. Call me Nigoki. Call me Cellsenior. Call me Leadfoot. Call me Mentoz. Call me Yugo. Call me Duck! Call me Tom's bro. Call me prom date. Call me Dark Stream. Call me someone who just got you to read a list of my various aliases.

March 27th 1:25 PM
Song of the Moment - "The Ballad of Ed's Shirt "By Barenaked Ladies
This is why I love BNL, even more in concert. They always do some stuff to make each concert unique, no concert is ever the same, they always add a little something different for each performance. One of the things they do is stuff like the Ballad of Ed's shirt, where they have a fun song. I once read in an interview with them that BNL wants people to leave their concerts feeling better than when they came in. I'm glad to say that for me they're 3 for 3

Thoughts of the moment.-

'nuff said

March 23rd 2002 6:56 PM
Song of the Moment - "You Might Think"By The Cars
Yaaaay 80s music! Ok this is one of the songs I downloaded when I went on an 80s music downloading spree a little while back. I love this song, nice and upbeat. The lyrics are good too. Great song for someone who keeps trying with the "L" word, but lacks success. What's great about this, is it's not the typical "woe is me" attitude of struggle with love, instead it's lively and upbeat.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Inside my wallet:
10/01/01, 12/01/01, LoTR, QoD.
::sighs:::

Time for an excerpt from one of my plays, some of you might recognize part of it from the quotes page. Just really fits what's on my mind right now.

(From my play "X=" )

X: Was a really that happy?

Caleb: Hell, you were ecstatic kid,

X: Yeah, (short nervous laugh) I guess I was, but what is going on now?

Caleb: Now X? The now is what you make it. I taught you long ago. The present is always our happiest point in time. One can look at the past and regret the things they could've changed, or they can look to the future and dread the things they know they cannot. Always live for today, always live for now.

X: But what is now?

Caleb: That’s for you to decide X. (He Exits)

If you want a full copy of the play to look at let me know and I'll send one your way

March 19th 2002 6:15 PM
Song of the Moment - "Ryoga's Theme" From Ranma 1/2
You gotta admire someone like Ryoga. Although he has no sense of direction whatsoever (he got lost for three days trying to get to a vacnt lot behind his house just for an example), he keeps on going. Ryoga's theme is a great testimonial for someone facing adversity. You gotta face whatever life deals you, and just keep pushing, even if it means going from one part of Tokyo to another by way of China. The strings set a nice tone of being faced with troubles, then the rock theme pushes through, telling us that we all must go through difficulty, learn from it, and press on.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Psuedo journal for today.
I did something yesterday I haven't done in a long while. I got really pissed off. It wasn't like a mild disappointment or light frustration either, It was one of those where you just tweek out once in a while, not because there's anything wrong with you, just once where you just gotta let it out. So I kicked a few doors in and swore really loudly. No harm done, except to some residents of liberty city I hurt when I played Grand Theft Auto 3 to unwind. No worries everyone, I'm back to "normal" ;).

March 10th 2002 9:57 PM
Song of the Moment - "Fire and Rain" by James Taylor
I was looking at Dave's CD track listing in the "Soundtracks" section. Good song. One of those ones where makes you have hope for the world. Reading Dave's rationale for choosing to have the song on his soundtrack, really got to me. Sure it wasn't a complex one, but life's funny like that. It wasn't needed. It's the simple things that often remind you of some of the greatest things. Some of the best songs are the ones that are simple.

Thoughts of the moment.-
(Raises the glass of water he's drinking) Cheers everyone. To being who we are. Because that is great gift that we all share.

March 9th 2002 5:55 PM
Song of the Moment - "My Iron Lung" by Radiohead
Probably one of my favorite Radiohead songs. I really like the different guitar parts in here. Just a good song to just listen to. It's another one of those songs that you really enjoy, but you not entirely sure why. I love the guitar part at the opening. I recently downloaded an awesome Anime music video to this song, using clips from FLCL. It worked really well. I was psyched to see one of my fave animes put to one of my fave songs, and have it actually done well.

March 4th 2002 8:00 PM
Song of the Moment - "See You Space Cowboy" by Yoko Kanno
Cowboy Bebop is an awesome anime, no doubt about it. In the final episode of the series, for the majority of the second half of the episode, they are playing this song. It is a really beautiful song. First off, it uses the same tune as the Ending Credit's theme, "The Real Folk Blues", but with different lyrics. Second, it adds so much to the scene, just making all the more a bittersweet. I won't spoil the scene, just watch Cowboy Bebop so you can see it.

Thoughts of the moment.-

I can't get the final 1/2 episode of Cowboy Bebop out of my head. It's just so cool. Saw it for the second time Saturday night, and it's just been in my mind cuz it was such a cool scene.

Romanji Lyrics to "See You Space Cowboy"

Subete wa mou owatta to
Mimi o saii da mama de kimi ga iu
kotoba wa tada nagareteku
Yasuragu koto no nai ashita e

Inori sae mo kieta yoru
Nani o shinjite doko e kimi wa iku
Namida iro no ryuusei ga asake warau you ni ima sugiteku

Kawarame mono nado ari wa shinai sato

Tatoe inochi tsuki temo

Kono ai o kise wa shinai

Sore wa towa o ikiru koto
Yume wa yami ni kakure temo

I got a rainbow
In my hands...

Mune no oku o wataru koe ga
Keshite kawarame mono moaru to iu
Shinjitsu no mae ni inoru asa

Ai wa futatabi koko e modoru darou

Love never dies
Love never feigns
Love never ever fades away

Itsuka inochi tsuki temo
Kono ai o kise wa shinai
Sore wa towa ni ikiru koto
Yami o yaburi

Toki no naka de koori tsuku
Maboroshi o oi koshi tatoki
Niji no kare kata ai wa matsu
Ikusen no hikari ga matsu

You got a rainbow

Rainbow in your hands....

March 3rd 2002 7:05 AM
Song of the Moment - "God Gave Rock and Roll to You II" by Kiss
Man I love this song. Great song to just crank up and chill out to. Dan, I've thought about, I can see why you chose this song for your slow. My opinion as to the song's meaning; "If you've been given something great, take advantage of it, and ENJOY LIFE!!!!"

Thoughts of the moment.-
No matter what happens, when you get right down to it, life really kicks ass.

February 28 2002 12:06 AM
Song of the Moment - "Bubble Bobble Theme" by ???
A nice good upbeat tune. That's my reason for having it here. That's all, no long explanation today.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Fate moves in strange ways. Or at least that's what "they" say. Something I thought was to be bad news, not being able to get my license, turned out to be good news, because I was able to save money and spoil someone this evening. If I had enough money, I'd spoil all my friends as much as possible, like I've said before, I love making people that mean alot to me aware of just that, that they mean alot to me. It's probably why I spent so much this evening, because it was spending money on someone that really means alot to me. Not much else to say except I'm definately in a good mood, heh always am after hanging with the person or people who mean a lot to me.

February 28 2002 11:57PM
The List for slow songs I've close for now. Might reopen it later, I don't know So here's the "final" list.
"Call and Answer" by Barenaked Ladies
"Everything" by Lifehouse
"Good-bye to Romance" by Ozzy Osbourne
"God Gave Rock and Roll to You" by Kiss
"The Saddest Day" By Converge
"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel
"Toki Ni Ai Wa" (Sometimes Love is...) by Okui Masami
"Tiny Dancer" by Elton John
"May It Be" by Enya
"Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse
"The Search is Over" by Survivor

February 27 2002
Song of the Moment - "Dream on"(Unplugged Version) by Aerosmith
Classic song in any form. This version is so cool becuase one can just hear how much Steven Tyler's voice has aged since the original recording. Two parts in particular stick out in this song to me. First is the line "You got to lose to know how to win", like so many of my favorite lines in songs, nice poetic line that holds true to life. The other is part of the chorus "Sing with me, sing for the year, sing for the laughter, sing for the tear" I love this part because one has to live life for both good and bad, they cannot only decide to revel in past great expierences, or dwell on bad times, instead one must live life learning from every expierence they encounter.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Whew. Glad I got what was ailing me in the last entry out of my system. Sometimes you just need to let it out. Anyway, thank God for vacation only my second day and already I feel more relaxed than I expected to. Feels good to have been just on my own the past few days. Independence is a great thing, solitude isn't. I'm glad I'm to be able to independant right now. Looking forward to things coming up instead of dreading others. In short, life is good right now. For the time being I'm gonna just stop worrying as best I can and sit back enjoy life. Been reading a lot of Ray Bradbury, lately, forgot how much I enjoy his writing. Some suggestions for short stories by him to rrad I recommend "Skelton" "Mars is Heaven" "The Illustrated Man" "The Small Assassin" "The Wonderful Ice Cream Suit" and "The Watchful Poker Chip of H Matthis". One last thing, new BG is here because I wanted a change that's all folks!

Still working on the list of slow songs people either really like to slow dance to or would like to slow dance to at some point. If you have a song that falls into the category, send it my way so I can add it to the list. The list currently is...

"Call and Answer" by Barenaked Ladies
"Everything" by Lifehouse
"Good-bye to Romance" by Ozzy Osbourne
"God Gave Rock and Roll to You" by Kiss
"The Saddest Day" By Converge
"In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel
"Toki Ni Ai Wa" (Sometimes Love is...) by Okui Masami
"Tiny Dancer" by Elton John
"May It Be" by Enya
"Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse
"The Search is Over" by Survivor

February 25 2002 12:31 AM
Song of the Moment -"Stress" by Jim's big Ego
Kick ass song. If you've ever read Jack Kerouac's "On the road" all I can say is imagine the pace at which the flows out, but in through music instead of writing. People love to put pressure on themselves, Stress is a testament to that nature. I love this song some great lines like "everybody's out to get me but I feel alright" there's some others that are great but too long to type out, they're great because they just pour out. Once again, I recoommend giving it a listen.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Apologies to any of my "fans"who were disappointed with the last entry. I spent about an hour and a half trying to form stuff and it wasn't working.
Here we go again, wondering and wandering. Done lots of thinking, done lots of pacing, and some traveling to Nashua to trying and get my ind off things. My heart, my self-esteem, and my mind have been having a free-for-all, with no signs of any of them giving up. If there's a one thing that's bothering me more than anything right now it's one word. "Stag". Goddamn social expectations! Goddamn the prom! Yes, you read correctly. Sure it's fine to go with a friend, but then again what if all your friends are taken, or how bout the fact that it's even a lot more fun to go with someone that means alot to you? Then again that right now isn't available either. Like I said before, Goddamn social expectations. Oh well, whatever will be will be I guess. I'm just gonna let things take their course.

18th 2002 7:10 PM
Song of the Moment -
Frog's Theme from Chrono Trigger by Nobuo Umeatsu
First off, if you've never played Chrono Trigger, play it, it's an incredible game, well done in so many ways. Frog's theme fits the Character perfectly, someone who has lost their faith in the world and somehow, they pick themselves up and carry on just as hard, if not with even a greater resolve than before. The "broken man/woman" character has always facisinated me, from Wilson in The Great Gatsby to Asuka in Neon Genesis Evangelion they all are neat characters to think about, especially when one asks "What would I do in their situation?". Frog's theme starts out with a sullen, almost despairing flute, yet slowly, a resolve emerges in with every passing mesure, until a proud fanfare resounds! Just like Frog, the meager weakling transforms into a proud warrior. A great song, fills one with hope.

Thoughts of the moment.-
****WARNING REALLY DEEP/PERSONAL THOUGHTS OF THE MOMENT TODAY! JUST GIVING FAIR WARNING****
If you're still reading after that, here's what's up. I did some thinking Saturday and today about all my friends. I promised Jess and Dave that I'd dance to a song on DDR on Saturday for them. I thought about it, a little bit on Saturday, and a today and came to an interesting revelation about things, Jess and Dave, for better or for worse, are probably the two of my friends who have had the biggest impacts on my High school life.
Dave, during my junior year, really brought me out of my shell, and really intorduced me to the people who are now my core group of friends. Dave showed me that it was ok to be who I wanted, and that the people I hang out, are my kind of people. We may not be perfect, but at least in our group, we have the guts to admit it. New Year's this year I hung out at Dave's house for a small get together, and after everyone had either left or gone to sleep, Dave and I just stayed up and talked about just about everything from A to Z and then went Z to A, it was just a great time to sepnd catching up. I'm Glad Dave's been such a great guy

Now Jess is something that's really effected me more than I first realized, and more than other people either realize, or are willing to admit. Here's the long and short of it; Jess is the first young woman I've ever really felt something for. Sure I've had the occasional crush that's lasted maybe two weeks max, but in this case it's been much longer I think it's partially due to the fact it's not my hormones bouncing off my insides telling to feel this way, it's my heart, and my mind. The Funny/Scary/Sad thing is I can actually rememeber the day I really realized that I liked her. It was at King Richard's Faire, and I heard a part of a conversation between a couple as we were walking at one point, and it just made me think about things and took my world and put it into a paint shaker set to overdrive. Semi this year was so much more enjoyable going with her, it was one of the coolest times of my life.

I could go on and on about these two people, but SOMEBODY wants me to finish this up so he can read it. (glares towards Dan W's House)

Lastly, to ALL my friends, remember that even if you didn't make this entry, that you do mean alot to me, and I know I'm a better person because I can call you my friends

"I don't care if I go to Heaven or Hell, I've got friends in both places"
-Mark Twain

February 14th 2002 6:50 PM
Song of the Moment -

Two Songs of the moment this moment. They've both been played alot on Winamp alot lately

1) "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)" by Fuel-
I've suddenly found a bit of an interest in Fuel. Heard this song when I watched a fan made anime music video using clips from the Rurouni Kenshin OAV series. I hadn't seen the video since I saw it at Otakon this summer, and seeing it again after downloading it reminded me how cool it was. I believe it won an honorable mention in its category. Ironically, a similar thing happened with another Fuel song. Hemorrhage is a real moving song. Just really flows out nicely. It moved and just generally made me enjoy it. I'm captured by it's mix of emotions inside it. It has regret, anger, and loneliness blended to near perfection. Sure it's one of those songs that deal with the whole teenage common denominator emotion, but if it does it well, who cares?

2) "Jessica" by They Might Be Giants
Ok first off I want to point out that I downloaded this song when I was downloading alot of TMBG songs one saturday, so don't go thinking it was because of another reason. Coincidence, that's all. Here's just a good upbeat song. It's entirely instrumental and executes itself very well. The Clarinet adds a nice sound to the song when it joins the other parts of the song. One of the things I've always enjoyed about clarinets is their range. "Jessica" uses both ends quite well in my opinion. Like I said though, this is just a really upbeat song, and like all my songs of the moment, worth a listen.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Totally surprised today. I had a perfect mix of the day's mood, didn't recieve too little or too much, just enough to be balanced. I only gave two things for Valentine's gifts, the Video and the Card were for the person I really felt I should give something to, just becuase of the way I feel there. The candies for everyone may have been felt to be a little bit cheap, but the thing is, I just wanted them to be tiny reminders becuase I think my friends should know that I care about them even if it's not a holiday. It's something I really try to do, make sure my friends know they are my friends. As for the recieving just getting some candies and a rose was great for me. I don't know why, just the rose really had a good feeling to it, just was something special, not one of the Cliche' carnations that people buy for the NHS fundraiser or some big thing. It made my day.

February 8th 2002 11:44 PM
Song of the Moment - Adam Sandler's "Ode to My Car"
Just a hilarious song. One that makes me laugh alot. It's a good one to listen to when I need a smile.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Doing Something different for this "thoughts of the moment". Just out of curiousity, I asked people what Song they would love to slow dance with someone to, or one they already love to slow dance to. I'll update this for a little while til I change to a new "thoughts of the moment". Any songs are welcome, if you have one, suggest it. So far the list is...

"Call and Answer" by Barenaked Ladies
"Everything" by Lifehouse
"Goodbye to Romance" by Ozzy Osbourne

February 6th 2002 7:00 PM
Song of the Moment - No Doubt's "Don't Speak"
I loved this song from the moment I heard it. Such a good ballad (I've been listening to a lot of ballads/sad songs lately, not sure why). It's just a good song for someone who's a mix of emotions becuase of some form of love. When I watched the "Behind the Music" on no doubt on VH1 learning the background of the song made it renew it's coolness to me. Gwen Stefani's emotions really pour out into the song. Anyone who's been in a simalar situation can really empathize with her. On the musical side of things I really like the different guitar parts in the song, everything as a whole comes together really well.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Not sure what my thoughts of the moment are right now. They're really kinda jumbled. Been thinking a lot about college lately, and scaring and worrying myself in the process. I Really want to get into St. Lawrence, but if I don't get in I'm not sure where I'll want to go. I feel like I'm in denial about a lot of things lately, like not being able to accept things I should or subconciously ignoring things I see and should be paying attention to. I feel like for the most part it hasn't been me, more of just a shell of me. My mind's been wandering, just thinking about other stuff that I'd set aside a while back and that's now come back into my mind. I guess right now, I just want to find an answer to the question that's been bugging me since September and increased itself in December. I think these things that have come back again and I have kinda already been mentioned in what I've already written, but once again, this is my writing to sort my stuff out. If you'd rather not read it, no one's forcing you to.

"If I ever lose my eyes, I won't have to cry no more"
Cat Stevens "Moonshadow"

February 4th 2002 7:00 PM
Song of the Moment - Miles Davis' "All Blues"
This is an amazing song, written by an amazing artist. Everyone should buy a copy of the album "Kind of Blue". It is THE jazz album. "All Blues" is just such a relaxing song. It mellows you out, and just eases your mind. I enjoy just being able to stick this in my CD player and just let my thoughts drift. Out of all the songs and albums I've mentioned so far in this section, I recommend "All Blues" and "Kind of Blue" the most.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Today's Thoughtsd are very direct. There are here more for me than anyone else, I just want to sort things out myself, and writing helps me do that. I just want to clarify a few things and give some straight facts to some questions people have asked me about my feelings towards you-know-what (and if you don't you'll probably figure it pout by the end of this post)
-No one placed the idea in my head, my feelings came on their own
-Despite what people might think, personality is the main factor (but not the only, but that's human nature) for my affection.
-No, I'm nt 100% content with the present situation, but right now I'm not sure about how to next, and am trying to sort things out in my mind.
-I'm not closed minded on this issue, I'm open to suggestions people might have, it's demands that I mustdo a certain thing that I don't like.

"I realized it was all my Fault but couldn't tell you."
-Barenaked Ladies "One Week"

February 3rd 2002 6:05 PM
Song of the Moment - Bus Stop - "Kick the Can" (From Dance Dance Revolution 5th Mix)
Just about any Dance Dance Revolution song could work for this "Song of the moment", but "Kick the Can" just happened to be what was playing on winamp at the time I started this post. It's a good song though, nice use of the classic Can Can song into a dance tune.

Thoughts of the moment.-
I think it's safe to say I'm now offiically a DDR nut. Yesterday I once again spent hours at Fun World in Nashua, and this time all but one of the games I played was DDR. We were supposed to go there Friday as a pseudo get together for Dan and my birthdays since they both happend in the same week, but since it was bad weather and no school on Friday we went yesterday instead. Seems like the pizzas I got for everyone were appreciated too. I'm loving DDR more and more each time I play it. Proof lies in the fact that I can't listen to theMP3s of the songs without at least tapping my foot. If it wasn't for downstaris neighbors I'd probably get myself a copy. Heh something to get once I'm out of here. "Between sets" as you could put it, I had some good talks with the gang. Felt good to know that some people feel the smae as me about certain issues that have been bothering me a little bit. We had some good laughs too. Good Times, Good Times, Glad I can spend them with such great people

"We will be young forever!"
-Rebecca "Young Forever" (From Dance Dance Revolution)

February 1st 2002 11:11 PM
Song of the Moment - Barenaked Ladies - "A"
Got the CD "Maybe You Should Drive" at long last. This is a great CD, just makes you feel relaxed and good. I'm not sure why I picked "A" out of all the others, just felt like a good choice "A is for algerbra I learn it in school 'eyy' is what Fonzie Said 'cause he was so cool"

Thoughts of the moment.-
Wow I'm 19, I feel old all of a sudden. I've lived a almost fifth of a century. Went to the mall today since there was no school. (No school on my birthday, how much does that rule?) Finally got my own copy of Final Fantasy Ten and "Maybe You Should Drive". Tom called me from his school in Baltimore when he had no class to teach. It was one of those nice little surprises that make you feel really good. Birthdays are usually a really neat thing. You think about other people's ages alot. I think about my Grandfather Wilder who is in his Ninties and can remember things that happend decades ago vividly. My Grandmother Hammond has interesting anecdotes too. I hope when I get to be their ages I can remember stuff that well. I think the scariest thing is I'm the youngest grandchild on both sides of my family, and it's interesting to think I'm now entering my last year as a teenager. Wow I feel old.

"Old at being young. Young at being old"
-Barenaked Ladies, "Alternative Girlfriend"

January 31th 20028:01 PM

Song of the Moment - The Pillows "Advice" (From FLCL)
I don't know any of the lyrics to this song yet, but I still really like it. "Advice" has some great guitar in it right from the start. The moments the play "Advice" in FLCL the song compliments the scene very well. Freaking out because a robot is sprouting from your forehead works well to this song. Confused? Good. See FLCL, it's an awesome OAV series. The first US DVD release is coming soon. (It was supposed to come Jan 29th, but for some reason it appears to be delayed.)

Thoughts of the moment.-
Promises are a funny thing. People go to great lengths to keep them, and great lengths to avoid keeping them. When I make a promise I try my darndest to keep it. The hard thing about keeping a promise is that it's becoming less and less commonplace. The words "I promise" seem to now mean "I might" instead. If someone promises someone something nowdays, it makes a statement; a statement that they're willing to make sure what they promised is done, and they're willing to go great lengths to fufill their word. So think about when someone's truly promised you something, and fufilled it. Be grateful that they did, becuase chances are if they promised you something and carried it out, you mean alot to someone.

"The fact that you're hesitant proves you understand what I've been saying to you"
-(Can't remember what movie)

January 29th 2002 5:35 PM

Song of the Moment - Aerosmith's "Blind Man"
This is probably my favorite Aerosmith Song. This song was that just made me feel good from the first time I heard it back when I was still deciding what kind of music was my style. Unfortunately I still don't know what my style is, I like just about everything when it comes to music. One of my favorite broad range of music stories I've ever heard is one a friend told me about the time he went into a record store and bought Miles Davis' "Kind of Blue" and the latest Converge CD. Quite a Mix. Any going back to "Blind Man", I tend to enjoy songs with lyrics that make you think. How powerful is the line "It was a blind man who taught me how to see"? Lyrics should have some meaning, not just be near random words. The message I get from this lyric is that you really need to put things in perspective sometimes. In my life I've noticed that it's the people who go through really shitty struggles end up having some of the nicest personalities. Unfortunately there's those people who try and make their tiny problems seem world threatening. The way I can think of it best is people who go through shit end up smelling the sweetest, the people that just toss it on, just stink.

Thoughts of the moment.-
Spent sometime after school doing one of my favorite things, having a one on one chat with one of my friends about whatever came up. I love talking with my friends about stuff, you just feel good when you do. I especially like talking with who I did today. No offense to all my other pals, but whenever I talk with her I just feel a connection, I feel like it's ok for me to be me and I think she feels she the same way about herself too (knock on wood). This connecting once again makes me wonder "Why can't we try?" Sure people have told me to just get some balls and try, but the thing is, it's like so many parts of life it's easier said than done.

"I've looked around enough to know that you're the one I wanna go through time with."
Jim Croce "Time in a bottle"

January 28th 2002 4:32 PM

Song of the Moment - Vertical Horizon's "Everything you want".
Here's one of those songs that just makes me wonder "why not me?". It seems like everyone has someone special except me. I just get bitter seeing people who got hurt by people either returning to them or at least really liking them in little or no time after. No offense to anyone that this has happened to, but chances are if they did something to hurt you once, they could probably do it again. I remember there was one instance this year where someone very near to me had their feelings hurt and I looked at my hand that wasn't using the computer's mouse as they described what had been done to them, it was shaking. I was so annoyed people could betray trust like that. The hardest thing to regain at times is someone's trust, or at least it should be. With the exception of the line "he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be" I think the chorus of "Everything you want" could be dedicated to the nice guys who keep getting the shaft when it comes to women.

Thoughts of the moment.-
This could kinda tie into my song of the moment stuff. I'm not sure what it is but lately I've felt like I've been flailing my arms screaming at the top of my lungs "Hey! (you-know-who) over here! Someone who thinks you're best thing ever!!!!! Why can't you at least give me a try" Unfortunately there's this thing called Reality. I just wonder sometimes if it's even noticed, sure people tell me it is, but I just don't have proof for myself. I want to be able to have telepathy, even for just a few minutes, so I could learn what the opinion of me was/is. Part of me wishes more than anything there could be another source to just say something to the effect of "Look, the kid's nuts about you. Why not give it a try? He knows that if things get weird you can go back to being friends" I guess more than anything I want a chance to prove myself that's all. The fact that I've yet to have a GF in High School is very low (if it's even there) on the list of reasons why I want that chance.

"You think I only think about you when we're both in the same room."
Barenaked Ladies "Call and Answer"
To all my pals: Remember I there isn't a day I don't wonder how everyone's doing.
Ciao for Now!